An emotional experience

I haven't written in a while because of the heavy workload I've had this past month and the fact that I try not to write when I don't have anything to say. Sometimes I get worked up about something but I always remember the advice of Anne Lamont that said never write an email after 10pm. Most of the time I don't get in from work until after 10 pm and I've taken that advice to heart.

Over the past couple of weeks I've been working on the script for the Ghost Tour and struggling with casting shows and trying to work through some of the arts marketing books I've been reading. Last night I went to the wedding of a young man I watched grow up in the theatre. The setting was a beautiful lakeside spot with a green vine arbor and over 200 people who all attended to celebrate the beginning of two people who were coming together to face the future. April couldn't make it and I went by myself. I didn't know most of the people there and was fortunate to find a friend from the theatre who also didn't know a lot of people there, and we looked on as this young man that we had watched grow up, began a new life journey. I left feeling a lot of emotions. A sense of joy at the marriage of this young man, a sense that my presence there was important to him and his family, and a sense of friendship with the person I enjoyed the event with.

I came home and tired to finish the arts marketing book I was reading. I've been struggling with how to make the theatre a place that is successful and has value to the people who perform on stage and the people who sit in the audience I find similar questions in relation to the church service I attended this morning.

I'm on the vestry (the board of directors) of Grace Episcopal Church and this morning I really didn't want to go to church. It's been a long week. The thought of just kicking back this morning was really appealing. I had to work this afternoon with the tech rehearsal for the Secret Life of Girls which opens Thursday. I really craved some time to do nothing. To have no responsibilities. Then the responsible voice in my head said "you are on the vestry. If you don't make the effort why should anyone else." April didn't quite have the same nagging thought that I did so she did take the morning off. However I made Jade go with me since Sunday School started last week and I felt it was important that Jade go because she was my daughter.

We arrived at church this morning for a breakfast put on by the men of the church to celebrate the start of Sunday School. I looked around and there were only a handful of children. Jade whined as I made her go with me this morning, that she was going to be the only kid in her Sunday School class. As we sat there eating breakfast she looked around and said "I told you dad I was going to be the only one." Fortunately for me, a new family came to church this morning with a young boy who went to class with Jade so she wasn't the only one.

I sat there during the service and looked around and saw quite a few empty pews. It really got me to thinking about some of the challenges facing the organizations and churches today.

People are so busy today that they are more likely to look for reasons to not go to something than to find a reason to go. I had a lot of reasons why I could have skipped he wedding last night but in the end I was really glad I went. Why are some churches thriving and others slowly withering. Why are some arts organizations flourishing and others on the verge of collapse. One of the arts books I've read recently says that the only way to success is to boldly set out a course that makes people get excited about your programming. You have to do something that excites people and do it at a high level of quality. It has to engage people and they feel that there presence at the events is something that leaves them feeling invigorated when they leave and glad that they came.

As I sat in church this morning I knew that the teacher who prepared the class for my daughter Jade did so not knowing if she would have none or several children. The choir prepared a beautiful anthem to be sung during the offertory. The deacon did a rousing sermon that challenged me to think. The priest did a good job of creating a service that offered points of reflection and points of action for each person attending. The readers read the scripture well. The teachers who taught the Adult Sunday school classes prepared and did a good job with the material they presented.

But I couldn't help thinking... does it make a difference if I'm here or not? Am I excited and looking forward to returning next week. Or do I do this out of a sense of responsibility? Episcopalians have a tendency to be very intellectual in their worship. The music is pretty to listen to. The readings and sermons are thought provoking.

But what is my part in this process. Is it to sit passively and reflect as an individual and then go my merry way. Except for the exchanging the peace this morning I could have left with really no interaction with others in the church service. I find myself a passive observer to the service. With so many things going on in life, things have to make me passionate about them to keep me interested and involved.

It is this sense of sharing an emotional experience with those around me that makes seeing a great play an experience that I find riveting. There is a sense of something truly exciting happening in live theatre that we experience right along with the characters of a play. When they are devastated we are devastated. When they are vindicated we feel vindication. When they reach out from a state of vulnerability we are right there with them. When I stand at the wedding of a friend I feel their happiness and I feel their joy. I feel a friendship with others who are witnessing with me this special moment.

In some ways I think those churches that seem to succeed today understand this need to have an emotional experience. As I walked out of church this morning I reflected on my emotional experience this morning... To be honest the emotion I most felt was feeling bad for the people who put in so much effort for such a small turnout. If the church doesn't start finding ways to create an emotional experience within the people who attend I'm afraid that it will slowly wither and become a place of only older members who attend out of a sense of responsibility.