Uncle Ray

I received news on Wednesday morning that my Uncle Ray had died the day before. The funeral would be on Friday morning and it would be in Michigan. I agonized over whether I could attend or not. It would be about 9 hours drive time one way. About 3 pm on Wednesday I told my mother in Wisconsin that I would be unable to go because of too many conflicts and the drive time. My fathers brother passed away last fall and I couldn't go. My mothers oldest sister passed away the week of the ice storm in January and I couldn't go. It kept rolling around in my head over the course of the next couple of hours that I was losing many of the people who helped form my life and that I wasn't able to be there to mark their passing and celebrate their lives. By the time I got home at 9:30 pm after rehearsal I called my folks back and told them I would be attending. As it turned out my sister who lives in Springfield was also going to go and was going to have drive by herself to the funeral. She was in Wisconsin on vacation when the news arrived and decided to drive back to Springfield with her family to drop them off, get funeral clothes and then drive to Michigan the next morning. She had to leave after the funeral to drive back to Springfield to be at work Sat. morning at 8 am. We arranged to carpool. I drove to Springfield IL on Thursday. We got up at 3 am and left about 4 am on Friday morning and arrived in Michigan at 8:30. The last time I saw my Uncle was over 10 years ago at my sisters wedding. Up until 3 weeks ago when I went on vacation, I hadn't even seen my sister in 5 years.

The city in Michigan is one that my mothers family has lived in all of my life. The last time I visited it was in 1977 for my Grandmothers funeral. I was in college at the time. I didn't know at that time it would be 32 years before I returned. I felt odd driving into the town. Some of the town looked almost the same. Lots of new things added here and there but still somewhat familiar. I've dreamed about that little town occasionally over the years and the picture that was in my head was what it looked like in the late 60's early 70's. I met the rest of my family who had driven over from Wisconsin in the church parking lot and we were the first to arrive at the church.

As my mother's family arrived for the funeral along with many of my cousins who I hadn't seen in 32 years it was a bit like trying to pick out faces of people who I knew as teenagers and were now in there late 40's and 50's. The funeral began at 11 am Eastern time followed by a graveside service and then a dinner back at the church. My sister and I left about 2:30 pm and arrived back in Springfield about 7 pm that night. I left Springfield this morning about 8 and got back to Paducah about 12:30.

My uncle was a man who lived life to the fullest. He was a Korean war veteran, used car dealer and a man who taught me that life was fun and yet he had a powerful sense of values that he passed on to others. He taught me to water ski, to ride motorcycles, to not be afraid to try something new and if it didn't go right to pick yourself up. Laugh and try it again. I remember sitting around the table with all of the aunts and uncles playing rook. There was an expression called shooting the moon which mean you would take all of the tricks in a hand. My uncle was known to shoot the moon more than anyone else who ever played. More times than not he ended up succeeding. Maybe there is a little of him in me that always looks at a challenge and says "What the hell, Let's shoot the moon and do it!" (That's how I agreed to do Wizard of Oz this past June.)

Thanks, Uncle Ray, for the many wonderful moments of my childhood that I will always cherish. Although I haven't seen him in almost 10 years before he died. I will miss him. I may not have physically been back to Berrien Springs, Michigan in 32 years, but there is a part of that little town that I will always carry with me whenever I look up at the moon.