growing up

I've just returned from vacation. While I was on vacation I purchased a couple of books to add to the couple that I brought with me to read while sitting on the beach or on the balcony in the morning with my coffee. The staff gave me a gift card to Books a Million and I used it to purchase two books. One of the books was by Diana Butler Bass on the Peoples History of Christianity. Butler Bass is a favorite author and speaker after I read her last book and listened to her at a couple of Emergent conferences. Her explanation of post-modern Christianity is really great. The other book I purchased was called 50 things to do when you turn 50. It has advice from all sorts of different well known people. A couple of my favorites were Garrison Keeler's and a playwright who writes in English and Spanish.

After arriving Saturday evening we went out on the beach on Sunday. I made the mistake of letting Jade spray my legs with sun screen. It was overcast and only in the mid 60's. I developed a huge sun burn from the inside of my right knee down across my shin in shape of a giant S. For the next couple of days I applied as much aloe as possible. It wasn't until the following Wednesday that we finally got back on the beach because of cold and wind. When we did I took great care to make sure that I sprayed my own sunscreen. As I sat on the beach reading my book I was worried about getting another sun burn and having to suffer through that. I decided to keep my T shirt on to protect all that "white" untouched by sun skin. As I joked to a friend "I live in a theatre cave and only come out once a year to get some sun."

Maybe it was reading the book about living in your 50's, maybe it was just a little bit of wisdom while I watched all of the 20 somethings walk by me with various shades of sunburns and exposed skin, maybe it was watching April suffer from sun burn for the same days that I did. I realized something. I didn't have to be 20 anymore and worry about whether I got a tan. The only person who was going to see me with my shirt off was going to be my wife. She was more sunburned than I was. I always felt the need to take that shirt off to get that tan. As soon as I decided that keeping my T-shirt on would made me worry less about getting too much sun and enjoy more sitting reading my book and looking at the ocean. That may seem like a no brainer to some people but to me it was a real sign of being okay with my age.

One of the other quotes in the 50 things book is that after you turn 50 its time to stop complaining about getting older. You either embrace the challenges that life presents you after 50 or you withdraw from them. I'm hoping that I embrace the challenges. A second book I purchased while on vacation was the Power of Less by Leo Babauta. I don't know if it was the chance to sit back for a little and reflect but I did find myself thinking about where I wanted to be when I hit that next milestone of 60. With my life and my job I find the need to limit myself to the essential becomes more and more important. I can't do everything that I used to and what's surprising sometimes for me is that I don't need to or want to.

So as I was hit by the avalanche of work awaiting me on my return Friday I'm trying to hang onto just a little bit of the beach. I miss hearing the ocean at night. April has a sound machine to help her sleep with the ocean but its just not the same!